Iron Elvis (My 30th B-day)

So I turned 30. This event was not so much of a spectal as the surprise party(and day of) that my wife threw the day after my B-day. Being oblivious to the world around me, I apparently had no clue as to this happening. There were many blatant clues that I seemed to have passed over. Oh well, I guess that is what makes it a suprise party.

I was not going to make pulling this party off that easy on my wife though. Her plan, as it happens, was to play up on my Ironman asperations, as well as the fact that we were visiting a friend in Collingwood during the Elvis Festival (for those that have never been, I tell you it is an experience!)

We wanted to go Mountain Biking while we were there. So we had scheduled a noon ride. She, for some reason was adamant about the timing? Apparently, she had planned to have our friends meet us in the parking lot at 3 stage and suprise me as we finished our ride. She was going to deck me out in all of this parafanalia (see pics below) and have me do a mini triathlon. Ride back to our friends house (with a large and noisy convoy) Jump in the pool and do laps, and then run around the block to the finish line ( all dressed up).

Well, I quickly threw a wrench (or handlebar) into those plans. Not 5 min. into the ride I stalled on a hill, unable to clip out, fell on some rocks. Now this is not an entirely uncommon occurence. However, I somehow managed to hit my inner thigh with my bar-end with considerable force. Lets just say there was a real loud profanity! Now I thought it was just a good charley horse and would be able to continue to ride. That is until I pulled up my bike shorts to find a looney sized hole in my thigh. I could see muscle and fat. Not good.

So our plans altered at that point. I figured a trip to the hospital was a good choice. So we got there relatively quickly, and it wasn't too long before I was in a room getting seen. Apparently staples are the best option for this type of wound, so now I have 5 of them in my thigh. What was funny was that I could see a security camera from the hospital entrance and Jenn was making a bunch of calls on my cell. I figured at the time that it was just talking to people about my injury. Turns out she was frantically trying to change plans.

The doctor was an MTB'er as well. We were comparing scars. I won!


So I was limping out of the hospital, and we were driving home, and I saw my parents pulling out of a Dairy Queen. I was like, "what the hell are they doing here" I still didn't figure out that there was a surprise party happening. So we got back to our friends place. My parents said that they decided to come up to the Elivis festival on a whim. Duh!

I was sitting in the living room dulling the pain :> and all of a sudden all of these people wandered in. The little light bulb went on! Dim, but it was on.

So they proceeded to get me dressed up. See pictures (pay special attention to the pink thong and sidburns). Then did a very miny (and pathetic) version of the triathlon, since I was moving rather slowly and could barely dip my feet into the pool.

I think I won the triathlon anyways. There was noone else running!

We later headed down to the Elvis festival. She had set up some silly tasks for me to perform, that is wear I met an Elivis. Good times.

So that was my 30th. I have a good scar to prove it too! Atleast the sideburns washed off.